In the past six weeks, I have traveled from Chicago to Ecuador, and from Chicago to Cabo San Lucas.  Each airport has its own personality, and each airport has its own security setup.  Regulation for U.S. air travel are documented at the Transportation Security Administration website  (which also has tips on getting through security efficiently), but the experience can vary widely depending on the location, personnel and season.

But no matter which airport you are in, if you keep your eyes open and you have allowed yourself enough time to be relaxed about the whole process, you can actually enjoy your time going through security (or at least be philosophical about it.)  Some observations …

There are now self-select lines in some airport screening areas for 'families' (traveling with kids, strollers and car seats) 'casual' travelers and 'expert' travelers.  I have yet to figure out why anyone would ever get in the ‘casual’ line.  It’s not like they have made the rules a secret, or that you would end up in isolation because you made an ‘rookie’ mistake. 
 
While you are in line removing what seems to be all of your clothes, the TSA agents are making mechanical announcements about what to take off and where to place the items. The passengers are clearly paying no attention, evidenced by the occasional agent who raises his voice to repeat his directions.  Once in a while, you encounter an agent who displays some humor, which gets better attention. 

There is invariably the person who takes four bins and is hopelessly disorganized.  He knows he needs the bins, but when it comes down to it, he isn’t really sure what to put in them.  While the agent is loudly stating “put your bags directly on the belt,” this person is carefully putting his bag in the bin, careful to spread them out for easy viewing on the machine.  You will surely see people going through the scanner with jackets and sweaters, despite the fact that they are clearly being directed to remove all outerwear.  The person who goes through with a metal belt or pocket items that should have been removed will invariably explain, “I never had to remove this before”, or “this never sets off the alarm.”  Possibly true, depending on how “major” their home airport is in the scheme of things. 

One memorable observation was of an elderly woman, in an airline-supplied wheel chair, with an airport assistant.  Being in a wheelchair, this woman was separated from her family (though they were nearby) and sent through the wheelchair-accessible area of security.  Although clearly frightened, the woman endured the scrutiny you would associate with someone who had escaped from a maximum security prison.  Part of the focus was on the wheelchair despite the fact that, as the family pointed out, it was the airline’s wheelchair that she had been supplied 15 minutes earlier.

Another recent incident, on the way to Mexico, involved a carry-on suitcase that fit the bill for size and weight.  However, the passenger had items in the suitcase that were outside the rules.  A grandmother anticipating the company of a small grandchild during vacation, she had packed little bottles of ‘bubbles’ in the carryon.  How did it escape her understanding that the bubble liquid weighed 4 ounces instead of 3 ounces, and was, therefore, unacceptable?  She just wanted to bring something to entertain her granddaughter.

The TSA agent discovered the six bottles of bubbles and immediately stated they were going to be confiscated. When the grandmother showed surprise and concern, the agent’s answer to the situation was to open three of the six bottles and test them.  Once they passed whatever this test was, the tested bottles were confiscated, but the grandmother was allowed to keep the other three bottles.  The questions you might ask are: was this grandmother living in today’s world, why were three untested bottles okay and what did this have to do with terrorism?

Coming back from Ecuador posed no particular problem.  We flew through Miami, where we went through customs and re-checked our bags.  It would be reasonable to think we would undergo greater inspection on this route than we would from Cabo San Lucas, but that was not the case.  On our way back from Cabo, we stood in the check-in line forever because the security agents manually went through every suitcase.  Having watched this process up close, it is still not apparent what they were looking for, or what would have happened if they had found “it”.  There was a sign, close to the actual inspection point, stating “Fish are not allowed in carry-ons.”  What better entertainment could you possibly require?

When the plane was boarding, we had to present our carry-ons for individual inspection. Once past that point, we were instructed to walk outdoors about 200 yards toward the plane and submit to yet another search.  This one was the best.  This is where they separated the men from the women and patted down each person, including personal areas.  Seemed a bit much to me, but I wasn’t questioning, having learned my lesson. I had had my bubbles taken away from me on the way there.